"Not all those who wander are lost..."

I am doing my best to keep Tolkien's words in mind right now. Well, I know where I'm wandering to... and what I ultimately want to do... but the end destination seems so elusive and out of reach right now. What is my goal? I want to move to Britain and work in a museum. Where am I at? 2/3 through a PhD, and trying to job search from Canada, competing against others for jobs in the museum sector where there are plenty of people with experience and ideas, but few actual positions for such talented people. (Yeah, you guessed it, I found out I didn't get shortlisted for that position in Manchester. And I've also moved out of my flat - which is great for so many reasons! - but it's hard to be homeless again. Plus I've been sick for almost 2 weeks. Not to mention that I'm feeling stumped re: how to make the edits to my dissertation proposal, which have to be done before I can pass ethics, which has to be submitted by mid-March in order for me to start my fieldwork in the UK in mid-April. No pressure, eh? sigh.)

Thankfully, I feel really supported by the people in my life right now. My friends have been amazing, as usual - I'm staying at my friend Liz's, who kindly offered to let me crash in her apt and look after her kitty, Mr. Ziggy Stardust, whilst she's in India - and everyone is asking me when I'm having a going-away party (which, honestly I hadn't thought about at all, since I'm "only" gone for 3 months this time). Kate and Adam are looking after Mowgli for me too, which is great, since he gets along so well with their kitties. My mum is also fantastic at reminding me of the many blessings I have in my life, and I have to agree with her. :)

The best things about not getting that job in Manchester is that I can start to make travel plans for the UK and my Romanian holiday, and I know I'll be back in TO in June. I can look forward to finding a new apartment (with a normal landlord who has appropriate boundaries!), and prepping some new material for the Toronto Burlesque Festival in late July. I was at a show last night in Brantford to see my friend Victoria bellydance (she was amazing! And yes, she's supposed to look this scary, she was a demon trying to escape from god's chains), along with some fabulous burlesque performers including Demonica de Morte and Tanya Cheex. It's totally given me the performance bug again. I'm also looking forward to actually being able to analyse my fieldwork data and start working on a framework for my dissertation, which is exciting in its own way. I'm also feeling like I need to start publishing some stuff - both because it will help with my job search, and also because I think the stuff I'm working on is pretty cool!

So, please send luck and good wishes my way for everything to fall into place the way it managed to for my time abroad last year. I am still confident that I'm on the right path - everything I'm doing right now, and where I'm at, feels really right - I just need to be okay with all the looming uncertainty. Even though the pressure of everything I have to do is feeling a bit overwhelming at the moment, I am starting to get excited. Just need to go with it, see what happens... and enjoy the adventure along the way.